A Pastors Perspective,Caution: I Am Offended


By: Mike Upchurch

Caution: I am offended

Recently, the Cleveland Indians announced they will stop using the Chief Wahoo logo on their baseball uniforms, citing it was offensive to Native Americans. In December of 2017, Statues were removed in Memphis, with City Officials citing they were offensive to some residents. Last Fall, Hobby Lobby was asked to remove raw cotton stalks, because they were offensive to some.
Well…..add me to the list of those offended. Even though I’m conservative to the core, and sometimes near pacifist-like, I too am finally fed up and I want action!

So, what has me bristling? As a Christian, I’m offended at the sight of anything to do with the devil. That’s right! That ol’ trash talkin’, filth spewing, goat lovin’, lyin’, deceivin’ devil, Satan.
I hereby launch my one man campaign to end this injustice. I am offended by images of a red, horned devil, with a pitchfork and a spear for a tail. I am offended seeing his gruesome caricature constantly depicted on CD jackets, artwork, and T-shirts! I am offended by the saying “the devil made me do it”. I’m offended by Halloween masks bearing his likeness. And I herein demand that the Chrysler Corporation rename their Dodge Demon! For crying out loud….his own car?? Who approved that???

Thankfully, the Tampa Bay Rays Baseball Team changed their name already, but the Devil Ray, the marine mammal for which they were named, must also be renamed to something less offensive! How about Angel Ray? Who voted the devil gets his own sea predator anyway? This egregious practice of forcing the devil on unwilling Christians must stop! I demand to live in a Society free from the constant bombardment of the promotion of Slewfoot!

While we’re at it, no more Devil’s Food cake mixes in the Grocery Store. They must go! And deviled eggs, are you kidding me?? Jesus never had HIS own eggs! Their recipes must be stripped from the Cookbooks! I can only imagine the royalties he gets off those! And while we’re on the subject, how about the Devil’s Tower in Wyoming? No way he gets his own Butte! That’s an outrage!
And lest we forget, what about that lovable sidekick of Bugs Bunny…..the always spinning, always hungry Tasmanian Devil? He makes me laugh! It’s not fair to label him with such an evil moniker! Let’s just call him “Tasmanian Spinning Guy”.
Oh, and what about deviled ham?? Sorry, but you get the boot too! (Relax, there’s still Spam®). These, and so many other “hellish” stains on our Culture, must be cleansed!

The precedent has been established! If one person, offended by something they consider racist, can move an entire Society to cave to their demands, then it’s time we as Christians take a stand against injustice too! Since God has been banned from our Society at every turn, the devil must be banned as well; from Schools, Colleges, Public Buildings, Courtrooms, Books, TV Shows, Movies….this imbalance can no longer be tolerated in a 2018 America!!
Let’s move to stamp out this bias in our lifetime! Imagine a world without the devil! A pure world filled with love; people always smiling, flowers constantly blooming, birds singing, and butterflies floating gaily about while symphony music plays in the background. Ahhhh….a world without demons or demonic activity!! It’s an uphill battle, but it starts now!
Where’s my Sharpie® and poster boards? I’m making signs today!

No more devil!!
Satan must go!!
To hell with the devil!!

I have a dream…..a dream that one day my grandchildren and their children will live in a devil-free world!
Hey…..wait a minute…..come to think of it, one day they WILL!! Whoo Hoo!! I feel better already!

“And they came up on the broad plain of the earth and surrounded the camp of the saints and the beloved city, and fire came down from heaven and devoured them. And the DEVIL who deceived them was thrown into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet are also; and they will be tormented day and night forever and ever.”
‭‭Revelation‬ ‭20:9-10

“And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, made ready as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them, and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.”
‭‭Revelation‬ ‭21:2-4

Well, turns out I win after all! Works for me! And that’s the way I see it!

Pastor Mike…..yeah, that guy. The guy patiently waiting for a devil-free world!